For one thing, nobody *makes* a blogger write. They willingly put their thoughts, opinions, photos etc out there on the web. And they *tend* to be quite extroverted people, quite open to sharing. So one thing that has surprised me is how often bloggers are not being entirely open or honest.
For example, recently Danimezza admitted that despite the cheerful posts she wrote at the time, she was actually deeply unhappy whilst adjusting to her new role as a Mother. Jade 'super organiser mum' posted things on her blog that conflicted with things she posted elsewhere but the biggest surprise was that her much-coveted domestic bliss was for show and she was unhappy in her marriage. And Bianca from A Little Delightful recently wrote a post alluding to the difficulties she has encountered in her role as a step-mother which she had previously kept out of her blog.
The other thing is how vicious people can be behind the anonymity of the internet. Just recently two lovely, lovely bloggers have posted about actual or threatened miscarriage and some nasty people have felt that they alone know the appropriate level of suffering and have taken it upon themselves to hurt these women until they are suffering enough to make the anonymous person happy. Jade has had her familiy's safety compromised by an unhappy (unhinged?!) reader and Bianca's post that I mentioned was a direct response to an attack by a reader.
But do we have a right to demand complete and unflinching honesty from people we don't even know? Is it silly to expect it? Do we even want it?
And on the flip side, do bloggers have an obligation to their readers... people they've never met and who choose to read the blog (ie no-one is making them read it)?
I believe it goes both ways and we ALL need to remember our 'Sunday school values' about how we treat other people.
Blogs are the new 'magazine' and bloggers are the new celebrities. This can be tough for the blogger who is just a suburban mum, blogging to keep connected to the world outside her front door. A-grade celebrities have personal assistants who sift through the mail and emails to remove all the nasty stuff, www-grade celebrities have to see every piece. A-grade celebrities have security budgets (bodyguards, home security etc), www-grade celebrities have to keep censoring themselves so no-one can look them up in the WhitePages or Google Maps and turn up on their doorstep.A-grade celebrities get paid ridiculous amounts of money to endorse luxury lines like jewellery and bags, www-grade celebrities get badgered into designing and running advertorials (also called 'reviews' or 'giveaways') for a free toothbrush or muesli bar. A-grade celebrities get given designer clothes which then get praised or slammed. www-grade celebrities shop at Kmart (or any other store). And then have every item picked apart and discussed and judged.
As you can see, being a blogger is a tough gig with not a lot of reward.
Readers....
~ Remember, you are in a position of trust. The blogger is making themself vulnerable by opening up on the internet to anonymous readers. Read, if you enjoy reading the blog. Stop reading when you do not enjoy what you are reading. Don't write nasty comments, send nasty emails or start threads in forums. Just stop reading.
~ Remember that the blogger is a stranger to you, they do not owe you anything. Don't feel hurt if they don't reply to your comment or respond to your requests for information (ie 'you should write a post about X or Y'). Accept with gratitude, anything the blogger shares with you. Do not resent what they neglect to do. Save your energy for the people that matter... your family, friends and colleagues.
~ Keep in mind that the blogger is a real person with real feelings. With real family and friends who probably read the blog too. Do not say things to hurt their feelings or make them appear foolish.Picture the blogger when they were a toddler with big eyes and rosy cheeks. We all grow older but we're all still that vulnerable little toddler deep down on the inside. How would you feel if the blogger was your child, all grown up?
~ Don't hate the blogger for how they make you feel about yourself. It's your issue, not theirs. You need to either change the situation or change your attitude. For example, if you feel jealous because the blogger always has a tidy home and yours is a bombsite you need to either work on getting your home tidy or accept that your home will be like that while you have small children. Snide remarks to the blogger won't help anyone.
~ Remember your manners--- please, thankyou etc. And the comment-love. Bloggers love getting comment-love!! Also, it's polite to leave a comment if you download the printable, use the idea at playgroup, reference the idea or post on your blog, etc etc.
Bloggers....
~ Remember you are in a position of influence. If you feel uncomfortable with that, stop blogging. Because as long as you blog, someone will look up to you in some capacity.
~ You do not have to blog anything that you don't want to. You do not have to post your photo, your real name, where you work, your family dynamics, what made you cry today, why you don't talk to your mother anymore, how you discipline your children, that awesome sex tip you know, how many children you want to have, why you chose not to breastfeed, etc etc etc. However, if there's something you don't want to talk about.... just say nothing. Don't replace it with a pretty lie or pretend everything is okay when it isn't. Because every time that you pretend it's just another day in Paradise, you set up another bunch of unrealistic expectations for people. If you don't know how that is your problem to deal with... see my previous point.
~ Credit where credit's due. If you use images, ideas, tutorials, printables etc, credit the creator or better yet, link to it! Pinterest is great but if you find something via Pinterest, it's better to link/credit the original item, not the pin.
I understand that we all need free speech etc. But I think it's important to remember that with rights, come responsibilities. Reading or writing blogs are something we undertake voluntarily and so we have the capacity to do it in a way that doesn't cause harm to others. Heck, it's something we should be doing every day, everywhere, not just on the internet. I'm not sure what is causing this surge of nastiness, maybe it's only really happening on the blogs I read, maybe it's happening everywhere. I'm loving all the honesty that's coming about because of it, and bloggers who aren't afraid to be human, especially Jen's blog at Lovely Living. But not loving the nastiness.
Ok, this post is long, but, to sum it up, on both sides.....
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